


Berk's Hot Young Singles

by Sweetooze



Category: DreamWorks Dragons (Cartoon), How to Train Your Dragon (Movies)
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Awkward Dates, Dating, F/F, F/M, First Dates, Fluff, Gen, Gender-neutral Reader, How Do I Tag, How to Train Your Dragon 2 Spoilers, Hurt/Comfort, I Love You, M/M, Modern Era, Multi, Online Dating, Other, Reader-Insert, Texting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-07
Updated: 2019-03-08
Packaged: 2019-11-01 07:53:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 19,096
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17863355
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sweetooze/pseuds/Sweetooze
Summary: Turns out there's this new dating app going around on the city... Wouldn't hurt to give it a try, now would it?Match with one of Berk's six young and strapping suitors and have a blast! Which one will you choose?Don't worry, this is fanfiction! You can pick as many as you like.[Modern setting]





	1. Prologue: a dating app

On your cellphone's screen, the words "Downloading" were displayed above a tiny bar that showed the progress of the procedure. Almost there.

It was done. You opened the app without much faith, not paying any mind to the pictures of happy couples on the background as you created an account.

This kind of thing never really worked, right? Not unless you were in a romantic comedy or in some sort of fanfiction.

Well, now that you went through all the trouble, you could at least bother to see your options. It seemed like you had six of them near you. That made sense since Berk wasn't a really big city and you were looking for people that were close to your age.

There was Hiccup, a tall guy that was waving at someone, not really having noticed a picture had been taken of him. His casual posture and loose clothes gave him an air of someone that didn't have to try to be handsome.

Astrid, a toned girl that was giving the camera her best good-looking, but unworried sideways glance from over her shoulder. She had lovely, pink lips and shiny, golden hair.

Snotlout, a muscled little man, that sported a very self-assured grin, from which one tooth was missing. He had an attractive, thin mustache above his lips, that complemented his casanova look.

Fishlegs, a blonde, chubby guy that was looking at the camera as if it was going to eat him. His eyes were a pretty shade of blue and his smile looked kind and shy.

Ruffnut, a skinny girl that had a very distinct, suggestive glint to her eyes that was only emphasized by the lewd gesture on her hands. Her hair was laced in several, beautiful braids that framed her sharp face nicely.

And Tuffnut, an equally skinny guy that had a goofy face, poking out his tongue in the picture in a silly manner. His roguish grin was surrounded by his stylish collection of blonde dreadlocks.

They all seemed pretty interesting, to be honest... Should you send a text? And if so, to whom?  
You didn't have to think too long on it, it appeared, since one of them had already done the honors. You had a new message.


	2. At the diner with Hiccup

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [All Dragonese used for this chapter was taken from the How To Train Your Dragon book series]

**HiccupTittup**  
  
Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III  
Man, Single  
185cm (6'11'')  
21 years old, Pisces  
Speaks English, Dragonese  
  
  
**My self-summary:**  
  
I spend my Friday nights watching House of Vikings and chilling with my cat, Toothless. I'm majoring in Mechanical Engineering because I like to draw and to build things. I cry at the end of most movies -especially animated ones- and my place is full of cobwebs I'm probably never going to clean because I can't stop thinking of all the spider families living there.  
In summary, I'm pretty lame. But I have been told I'm a decent listener, so it's not all bad, eh? Message me anytime :-)  
  
**Me in a song:** _"Thor Only Knows"_  


* * *

  
_HiccupTittup has logged on._

  
  
HiccupTittup: Is anyone there? I think I clicked the wrong button?

  
  
RDR: I'm here.

  
  
HiccupTittup: Oh.

  
  
HiccupTittup: Hi there.

  
  
RDR: Hi :-)

  
  
HiccupTittup: So... What now? I'm sort of new to this whole dating app thing.

  
  
RDR: I honestly don't know. I just downloaded the app.

  
  
HiccupTittup: Me too haha.

  
  
HiccupTittup: My friend talked me into this. She says I need to meet new people.

  
  
RDR: Well, I could meet some new faces too.

  
  
RDR: Hello?

  
  
HiccupTittup: Sorry about that. My cat tried to eat a spider.

  
  
RDR: Sounds tasty.

  
  
HiccupTittup: Hahaha

  
  
HiccupTittup: He seemed to think so. But I threw it out the window.

  
  
HiccupTittup: He says hi, by the way.

  
  
RDR: Hi, Toothless :-)

  
  
HiccupTittup: Woah, how do you know his name?

  
HiccupTittup: Oh, I wrote it.

  
  
HiccupTittup: Please don't get the impression that I'm a hundred year old man, I'm just really bad at this.

  
  
HiccupTittup: I don't get a lot of free time :-(

  
  
RDR: It's okay, it's okay. I get it haha.

  
  
HiccupTittup: Thanks.

  
  
HiccupTittup: I feel like I'm only talking about me here. Sorry.

  
  
HiccupTittup: What are you doing right now?

  
  
RDR: I think you worry too much.

  
  
RDR: And I'm not doing much of anything right now.

  
  
HiccupTittup: That makes two of us :-)

  
  
HiccupTittup: AND I should keep my mouth shut.

  
  
HiccupTittup: My mom is calling. I should really pick it up.

  
  
HiccupTittup: Sorry. Again.

  
  
RDR: Relax, Hiccup.

  
  
HiccupTittup: Thanks :-)

  
  
HiccupTittup: I'm back. Again.

  
  
RDR: Hi there.

 

  
HiccupTittup: Long time no see, huh?

  
  
RDR: It's been too long :-)

  
  
HiccupTittup: I think this is how it's normally supposed to go with these things.

  
  
HiccupTittup: But I rarely get anything "normal" going on in my life, no matter how much I want too.

  
  
RDR: But that's good isn't it?

  
  
RDR: It's better than being boring :-)

  
  
HiccupTittup: I guess you can see it that way :-)

  
  
HiccupTittup: It's no slaying dragons and saving princesses though.

  
  
RDR: Speaking of dragons...

  
  
RDR: What's that "Dragonese" thing in your profile about? I'm really curious.

  
  
HiccupTittup: Oh THAT.

  
  
HiccupTittup: I don't even know why I put that there. It's really embarrassing haha.

  
  
RDR: Oh come on, tell me!

  
  
RDR: Pretty please :-)

  
  
HiccupTittup: Oh, alright.

  
  
HiccupTittup: Do you believe in that theory that says dragons used to be real? Like, hundreds of years ago?

  
  
RDR: I think I saw it on TV once.

  
  
RDR: It sounds amazing.

  
  
HiccupTittup: I know right? :-D

  
  
HiccupTittup: When I was a kid, I used to be obsessed with them. Had birthday themed parties and all.

  
  
HiccupTittup: My grandpa gave me a book called "How to Speak Dragonese". It's super ancient and all.

  
  
HiccupTittup: I'm almost 74% sure that it's legit!

  
  
RDR: I bet it is!

  
  
HiccupTittup: And that's where that's from.

  
  
HiccupTittup: The more you know, huh?

  
  
RDR: That's so cool, Hiccup!

  
  
HiccupTittup: Ha! If you knew how many times that got me picked on in school.

  
  
HiccupTittup: But thanks anyways. I guess it was useful a handful of times I wrote notes I didn't want anyone to read haha.

  
  
RDR: Can you tell me something in Dragonese?

  
  
HiccupTittup: Oh, okay.

  
  
HiccupTittup: Let me see...

  
HiccupTittup: Howdeedothere?

  
  
RDR: What does that mean?

  
  
HiccupTittup: That's how you say hello :-)

  
  
RDR: Cool :-)

  
  
HiccupTittup: Di out abba-me?

  
  
RDR: What about that one?

  
  
HiccupTittup: Go out with me?

  
  
RDR: How do you say "yes" in Dragonese?

  
  
HiccupTittup: That would be "Yesse"

  
  
RDR: Well, there you have it :-)

  
  
HiccupTittup: Great :-)

  
  
HiccupTittup: I'll think of something cool, then I'll text you back with the details, alright?

  
  
RDR: Haha ok

  
  
HiccupTittup: See ya!

  
_HiccupTittup has logged off._

 

* * *

 

The restaurant wasn't a fancy one. The air was thick with grease and the smell of cooking burgers was everywhere. Ceiling fans spinning sluggishly above your head and low lights illuminated each table separately, giving the place a rather cozy atmosphere -if your standards weren't too high. There were only a few seats available, seeing as it was almost time for dinner, which made you glad that your date wasn't as late as you were.

You walked through the aisles of seats, scanning strange faces for not too long until you found the freckled face you were looking for. The guy had his chin propped up by his fist and was looking at the wall, thinking of nothing in particular. It took Hiccup a few moments to realize that someone had sat across him.

"Oh, hi!" he said, straightening himself. "Sorry, I was, uh-" He gave a sideways look, scratching his chin, "- with my head in the clouds, I guess?"

"Hi," you replied. He looked pretty lost after you took him out of his thoughts. "It's okay..."

"I'm not like that, I swear," he continued, "like... I don't know. I'm really tired... And, uh-"

Hey, calm down," you put your hands on the table, stifling a laugh. Hiccup stopped shifting his gaze around and settled his eyes on you. He laughed as well, putting his hands up in defeat.

"That was a terrible first impression, wasn't it?"

"First impressions are always terrible," you reassured him.

He laughed again, which made you feel pretty good. "That's true," he agreed, shaking his head.

"But," you felt obligated to ask, "you said you were tired? Shouldn't we have done this some other day?"

"No, it's fine," Hiccup waved you off, "I just stood up late yesterday, cause there was this really important exam this morning."

"What about?"

"Calculus. Fun stuff, fun stuff" running a hand through his face, he revived the terrible memories for a brief second. At that moment, a waitress appeared at your table and introduced herself with her rehearsed speech.

"Oh you shouldn't order that," he said after you asked about one specific item on the menu. You lifted an eyebrow, puzzled, to which he explained: "It's definitely not as big as the picture shows and the sauce they use tastes like plastic... No offense," he gave an apologetic shrug at the waitress, who's lips became no more than a fine line in her face.

"That one here," Hiccup showed you a different option that seemed similar enough. "It's almost the same thing, except it's good," he whispered.

"You must come here a lot," you pointed out, as the waitress stomped off, snagging the cards from the table without a word.

"Yeah... that's basically the diet of any growing college student, I think..."

Hiccup rubbed the back of his head, in the same way he would do many times again throughout the night. But as the conversation went on -ranging from subjects like his finals, the tv show that you both happened to be currently watching, his mother's crabcakes and much more- he gradually loosened up and you were able to get to know other sides of him.

Turns out he was a rather idealistic guy, for someone who, at first glance, was dragging himself around barely keeping up with school assignments. With a special glint in his eyes, he told you how he dreamed of building better animal shelters for strays like his cat and he would get this dreamy gaze as he spoke, which you thought was extremely adorable.

You almost couldn't concentrate when Hiccup asked about your own life, because his shaggy hair would fall over his face sometimes when he would move too much in a particularly enthusiastic representation of a story that had happened at this same restaurant long ago. His eyes were of a distinct shade of green that was complimented by the lightning of the place... How could you look away from that?

"It's pee-sh-you... Pishyou," at one point, he was even teaching you a bit of Dragonese, a language that was punctuated by shrill shrieks and popping noises and that sounded much more interesting when spoken out loud than through texting. You watched as he slowly spelled that one word that you just couldn't wrap your head around, once again distracted by his pretty face.

"What was that again?" you asked, absent-mindedly munching on your yak-burger.

"That's how you say 'please'," Hiccup clarified, saying the word once again and almost choking on his food as he clicked his teeth at the end. Apparently, if you didn't do the click, the word became a very offensive curse word about the listener's mother.

"Pishyou," you repeated, slowly.

"I can't believe you just said that," Hiccup gapped with mock offense etched across his face. "And here I thought we were getting along fine."

"I forgot the click!" you slapped your forehead, succumbing to laughter soon after. "Okay, I think I'm getting the hang of this..." Hiccup hummed at you with interest, as you formed the sentence in your head, "...Pishyou keendlee yum-yum on mi bum?

Although he tried to hold in it for half a second, he all but spit a rain of water all over the table and a little on your face. From the corner of your eye, you could see the waitress from before letting out a long sigh as she came over to wipe at the mess.

"I'm so sorry!" he said, in between giggles.

"What did I say?" you asked, flicking a drop away, but also chuckling a little yourself. “I thought that was 'please give me a bite of your burger?'”

"I don't think I should say it out loud..."

He apologized again for the incident looking very red and embarrassed until you placed your hand on top of his, reassuring him it was alright. He was still red but didn't move his hand, which you had to admit, made your heart beat a little faster.

All too soon, the moment was broken by a loud cry that made you both promptly jump off your seats and definitely caused your heart to beat much faster. A large slice of cake was placed in front of you, which both of you observed as if it was an alien form of life that had just landed on the table. All around, a group of very disgruntled looking employees sung a very noncommitted version of the happy birthday song that lasted as much as your state of surprisal. A few people from neighboring tables clapped together, showing more passion than the staff itself.

"What the hell just happened?" you asked to an equally lost Hiccup.

As quickly as I had started, the group disbanded and you and Hiccup were left with a cake and maybe a slight case of PTSD, looking at each other with nothing but confusion in your eyes.

“What the hell just happened?”

"Today is your birthday?" he countered, watching the topping pooling on the plate. Admittedly, it looked really good.

"No," making that clear, you looked around, half expecting this to be some sort of prank - a really weird one. "I would have said something."

"Well, then... I guess that means dessert is free?"

You decided to agree on that, quickly digging in on what seemed to be the fruits of good karma. It was a delightfully sweet, soft cake, worthy of a birthday party indeed, that you devoured in no time. This was, so far, one of the best dates you've ever had.

You were about to comment something along the lines of "What are the odds?" when you heard trouble brewing. Some sort of commotion was happening a couple of aisles down the corridor you were seated on. Stretching your neck to check, you could see a middle-aged woman shaking her finger in front of the waitress that had been taking care of you all night and neither of them looked happy to be there.

"It's been at least half an hour since we ordered!" the woman jabbered, putting her arms on her hips.  
"I know, ma'am, and I'm telling you that we already served the cake," the waitress hushed, trying with all her might to not cause a bigger scene than it already was.

"Well, something clearly happened!"  
"Oh, no..." Hiccup said, with a clear idea of what had happened to the woman's cake and hoping that he was wrong.

"It's my nephew's birthday and I baked that cake just the way he likes it," a little boy wearing a colorful cone hat swung his legs back and forth on the seat that was too tall for him, clearly not interested in the discussion as he was hunched over a cluster of coloring pages and didn't look up when his aunt referred to him. "...all you had to do was serve it!”

"Oh my Thor, we ate a child's birthday cake," Hiccup took the words right out of your mouth and as if alerted by the confession, the waitress turned her head to your table, staring straight into your eyes with dread.  
"What do we do?" you pondered, feeling really uncomfortable under the girl's eyes.

"I mean, it wasn't really our fault was it?" the birthday boy's aunt bickered on, slowly gathering the attention of most the restaurant's population with her high pitched rant.

"I mean, it wasn't really our fault was it?" the birthday boy's aunt bickered on, slowly gathering the attention of most the restaurant's population with her high pitched rant.

"I have an idea," he suddenly said. Before you could even react, he was slapping a couple of bills on top of the table and pulling you by the hand. As conspicuously as running down rows of little couches could be, you started on your ultra-sneaky departure. Everyone sort of seemed to be too focused on the discussion to notice the couple walking to the exit with their heads down, so it was more successful than you could have expected. Even the staff was too busy trying to compensate the woman for the lost cake to pay any attention to the other ones. Even as you accidentally bumped against a young man's arm he only gave you the briefest of looks, before turning back to watch the show.

"That was strangely underwhelming," Hiccup pointed out, even as he wiped out sweat from his brow. From inside, loud voices could still be heard, but you were pretty sure they weren't talking about you.  
The bell above the door rang its little ding but was still ignored by all as Hiccup lead you through the empty parking lot until you were a fair distance away from the main building. Now, only surrounded by cars and bikes, the two of you let out the breath you had been holding together without realizing it.

"That was strangely underwhelming," Hiccup pointed out, even as he wiped out sweat from his brow. From inside, loud voices could still be heard, but you were pretty sure they weren't talking about you.  
The bell above the door rang its little ding but was still ignored by all as Hiccup lead you through the empty parking lot until you were a fair distance away from the main building. Now, only surrounded by cars and bikes, the two of you let out the breath you had been holding together without realizing it.

"And that's all that matters!" he agreed, holding one triumphant finger up. He gave you that boyish look that was unique to him, the same that he had when he was teaching you Dragonese. You felt your skin go red under the lamppost's lights. "I've never done anything like that, please don't think that I'm some sort of delinquent or something..."

"Oh, no! I don't think I can hang out with you ever again, Hiccup..." you put a hand forward, distancing yourself from him. "I mean, leaving that extra tip for the waitress? That's just rude."

"You're very funny, aren't you?" he chuckled, swiftly stepping up to you and making your face morph into an even darker shade of red. He had a slight hitch on his gait that you only saw for a second before your mind was flooded by his husky smell. However, during that second you instinctively threw a look down at his legs and even if you paid no mind to what you saw, Hiccup seemed to have been taken back.

"What's wrong?" you wondered, seeing his expression shift to self-awareness, like the beginning of your date.

"Do you, um... Is it a problem?" he muttered, motioning to his only foot, or rather to the prosthetic limb that stood at the end of his left leg. He had a distant look to his eyes, much different from the excitement he had when you could only see above his waist. You felt a pang of sympathy run through you, not understanding how an amazing guy like Hiccup couldn't think of himself anything less than worthy. You felt like you had to snap him out of it.

"Do you, um... Is it a problem?" he muttered, motioning to his only foot, or rather to the prosthetic limb that stood at the end of his left leg. He had a distant look to his eyes, much different from the excitement he had when you could only see above his waist. You felt a pang of sympathy run through you, not understanding how an amazing guy like Hiccup couldn't think of himself anything less than worthy. You felt like you had to snap him out of it.

"You wouldn't be making that joke if you knew how annoying it is for me to get on a plane," he said, finally, to your relief. "But, seriously, sorry that our date didn't end as we planned."

"It was more fun that way," thinking about the ridiculousness of the entire situation, it was more interesting than you had expected it to be.

"I just wish it could have lasted longer," he admitted, bravely. Smiling coyly, you only nodded. He was looking up at the stars as he talked. "Since you agree... and totally don't think that the night was a huge failure..."

You sucked in a breath again.

"Do you want to go back to my place?"

"Yes," you replied, maybe a little too quickly. He didn't tell you that, but he thought it was cute.

Hiccup politely offered his arm out for you, which you held onto with only a small amount of bashfulness. He guided you to the very end of the lot, walking past the restaurant's parking area -luckily for both of you, he had parked far away, so you didn't have to walk to the ticket booth and explain why you left without asking for the bill.

Since you had the opportunity to be so close to Hiccup, it didn't really matter how long it took to reach his sleek, black motorcycle, leaning against a heavily graffitied wall. You had an even bigger reason to blush when he hopped on and told you to sit behind him. The city's light passed by one by one as you rode in comfortable silence, you with your arms wrapped around his thin waist and Hiccup with his forehead sweating profusely. You internally thanked him for not using the bike's full potential, because judging from how dizzy just being like this with the guy could make you, perhaps speeding up only a little would make you fall off on the road.

After only twenty minutes, you arrived at his front door and Hiccup climbed off, pulling a keychain out of his pocket.

"It's not much, but it's... well, not much," he said, sitting down on the plush couch in the middle of the room. Besides that, a TV was mounted on the wall, displaying a paused scene of an action movie - it probably had been like that for many hours- and almost every surface available was covered by papers, blueprints and little mechanical pieces that you didn't know the names of. "Also, sorry about the mess. I didn't have time to clean off."

Before you could reply, a dark, furry figure jumped on top of his lap, to which he paid no mind, caressing it like it was routine by then. The cat purred affectionately at its owner, then looked at you with its big green eyes.

"So that's Toothless?" you asked, as he sniffed at your hand curiously and, after making his judgment, laying down on your lap. "Heard a lot about you, little guy."

"He is the reason people still come over," Hiccup joked, observing his friend interact with you. "Hey, don't be rude now, Toothless."

Waving his hands at the little feline, Toothless gave him a long look as if considering wheter or not he would go through the trouble of finding somewhere else to sleep. It was only when Hiccup scooted closer and gave him a little tap on the back that the cat jumped down and walked away, swaying his tail back and forth.

"You didn't have to do that," you said, not failing to notice how close he had become.  
"He may look cut now, but when you realize he'll...um..." he stuttered, noticing the same thing.

"He'll what?"

"I forgot."

You stayed like that for what seemed like ages, but was, in fact, less than a minute, before you both opened your mouths at the same time, then closed for the other to speak. You repeated that a few times.

"You were going to say?" you asked, fumbling with your words.

"No, please, you were going to say something," he retorted, dodging the question. You refuse to say anything else before he did: "Okay, this is going to sound silly, but I swear I didn't make it up... Di abba heebi jeebys-me?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Can I kiss you?" he translated, gulping.

In response to that, you closed the gap between your lips like you had wanted to do since the parking lot. He quickly got over surprisal and pulled you closer by the waist, as you wrapped your arms around his neck, lacing your fingers in his hair. The short hairs around his lips scratched against your face, making shivers run up your spine, as he pulled you up.

"Sorry, I-" he panted, pulling away, "I wish I could carry you, but-"

Hiccup was about to make a little nod to his leg but was cut was cut short by another kiss from you -and not a soft one. That was all the argument needed to lead you further into the house and fall into your arms for the rest of the night and not think about anything else for quite some time.

 

* * *

 

Far away, the sun rose in the horizon as you eyes twitched open. The bed shifted under you and a warm body snuggled close to yours, slowly.

"Is it the weekend?" Hiccup mumbled, not yet fully awake.

"Yeah... we can sleep in," you informed him, diving back into the realm of sleep with a pleasant smile on your face.

 

 


	3. At the beach with Astrid

 

**Stormstrid**

 

Astrid Hofferson

Woman, Single

175cm (5'9'')

21 years old, Leo

Speaks English

 

**My self-summary:**

 

I'm a self-employed personal trainer and I don't spend my free time posting selfies with my abs on Instagram, but they're there, alright. I'm an early bird and think sleeping in is a huge waste of time that could be spent jogging or reading a good book. As you can see, I'm a woman of strong opinions. Don't let that intimidate you.

People have called me bullheaded before, which isn't a lie. I'm not someone who keeps their head down and that got me where I am now... and into more arguments than I can count, but that's just who I am.

For me, very few things transcend a nice cup of coffee and someone to share it with. Message me if you're not afraid of a little bit of personality. We might get along great.

 

 **If I had to describe me in a song:** _"I Will Always Scream At You"_

 

* * *

 

_Stormstrid has logged on_

Stormstrid: How is it going?

 

RDR: Hi there.

 

RDR: I'm alright. And you?

 

Stormstrid: I'm fine.

 

Stormstrid: Listen, I'm gonna be honest with you. My friend made me get this app because apparently, I need to meet new people.

 

RDR: Oh

 

Stormstrid: Sounds crazy right?

 

Stormstrid: So I'm sorry if I sound rude, but I don't really know what I'm doing here.

 

RDR: Don't worry, me neither :-)

 

Stormstrid: You use emojis.

 

Stormstrid: That's cute.

 

RDR: And you don't? That makes me think you're being sarcastic.

 

Stormstrid: Trust me I'm not a sarcasm kind of person.

 

Stormstrid: I think decorating your texts with little pictures is actually cute. A little childish, but cute.

 

RDR: I can't identify if that's a compliment or not.

 

Stormstrid: I do that a lot.

 

Stormstrid: My friends say I'm passive-aggressive.

 

Stormstrid: But it's better than being active-aggressive, right?

 

RDR: Definitely, yes.

 

Stormstrid: You know what? I like you.

 

RDR: Oh, thanks :-)

 

Stormstrid: You're welcome. Just don't let it get over your head ;-)

 

RDR: Is that a winky face? Does that mean we're friends now?

 

Stormstrid: It means I might not delete this app, after all.

 

RDR: Glad I was able to change your mind.

 

Stormstrid: Not many people can do that.

 

Stormstrid: You can cross that off your bucket list now.

 

RDR: Ha ha ha :P

 

Stormstrid: See? I have a sense of humor too.

 

RDR: Did you ever consider stand up comedy? You might have a hidden talent.

 

Stormstrid: Thor almighty, NO.

 

RDR: Oh, too bad hahaha.

 

RDR: I would've paid to see that.

 

Stormstrid: You don't have to pay to see me. I could just take you out, free of charge.

 

RDR: Is that so? And what's in it for me?

 

Stormstrid: Seriously?

 

RDR: I'm kidding :D

 

RDR: I would love to go out with you.

 

Stormstrid: I know.

 

Stormstrid: And I know ;-)

 

Stormstrid: I have to make a call now. I'll text you with the details later.

 

RDR: Sure thing, buddy :-*

 

Stormstrid: Bye.

 

_Stormstrid has logged off_

 

* * *

 

Arriving at the long, seemingly empty beach, you first assumed it was the wrong location -or, even worse, that you had been stood up. After only a moment, however, you spotted, just a little further ahead, the blue blanket spread out on the sand and the lean, athletic blonde laying on top of it. Astrid hummed, unworried, to the music in her headphones, her hair gleaming against the sun.

“Hi-” you hesitated. It was one thing to joke around online when you couldn't see one another and something else entirely to be face to face with her. What if she didn't like you? What if your lame old' self was too boring for a strong and confident girl like her?

And before you could even gather the courage, she raised her head and glanced at you with a smirk.

“Are you going to just stand there?” she asked, putting away her phone and sitting up with a stretch, “I was hoping we would at least go for a swim.”

“I wasn't sure it was you,” you lied, awkwardly. “Sorry for the delay, by the way. Have you been waiting for a long time?”

“Yes,” Astrid said, looking very serious, “and now I'm going home. Is this how you treat all your first dates? No wonder you're single.”

Your mouth fell open in surprise. “Oh,” was all you could say as she started to pack her things.

“I'm kidding! I've been here all morning,” she explained, waving you off. “I was jogging with a client.”

“Oh,” you chuckled, relieved. ”Guess I should get used to you being funny.”

“I'm funny all the time!” she retorted.

You raised an eyebrow at her, as Astrid started to walk in the opposite direction from where you came.

“Ok, and I guess you bring out the clown in me,” she admitted.

Your feet dug into the wet sand by the water as you walked by her side. You were positive she was slowing down for you, which was a relief -and kind of sweet- because her legs were terrifyingly long and toned.

“So, even been to this side of Berk?” she asked.

“Not really. That's why I'm late, by the way,” you told her, “I wasn't sure how to get here.”

“I get it. I have to admit I picked this one because it isn't very well known.”

“Not because I want to take advantage of you or anything!” she added quickly. “It's just I can't stand crowds. I don't like people very much.”

“That's surprising.”

She rolled her eyes, playfully. “So I assume you're not from these parts? Where do you live?”

You told her about your boring place and the boring things to do around there and she listened intently as you walked, not at all thinking you were as uninteresting as you thought.

Then, she told you about her own life and you started to compare stories of ordinary days like these, agreeing, disagreeing and, mostly, agreeing to disagree. Astrid was indeed a woman of strong opinions and voiced hers very vigorously, but you didn't really care what her favorite movie genre was... Ten minutes into the conversation and you were sure you would watch anything with her.

It was something else besides her obvious beautiful blue eyes -and beautiful everything else. It was the way she squinted when she complained about something that happened the other day. It was the way she let out these loud laughs that suited her so well when you said something funny. It was that damned self-assured smirk of hers.

Blatantly staring at her, a smile plastered across your face, you knew you looked like an idiot but didn't care one bit. It was her own fault for being so charming.

So she went on about the latest book she was reading with a special glint in her eye and you listened carefully, failing to notice the crescent pitter-patter on the sand, contrasting with the so-far quiet beach.

The figure of a man entered your field of vision just as soon as it left, giving you no chance to really look at his face before he gave a strong yank and pulled Astrid's bag from her arm. As you started taking a few seconds to long to process what was going on, the stranger took off with the stolen property, his silhouette getting smaller in the distance by the second.

“Son of a troll!” Astrid cursed loudly, already in motion.

She trailed after the thief, her braid trailing after her in wind like a tail. You wondered in what state of mind it would leave someone, to be chased by a furious woman who quite possibly had never skipped a leg day in her life.

“Hey!” you say to no one.

You finally began to react -mostly moved by the desire to follow your date, wherever she was going- with significantly less enthusiasm but nonetheless joining the persecution.

Astrid kicks small clouds of sand behind her heels as she reaches closer and closer to her target. You could see it from far away, the blur that was the bag thief throwing a look behind his shoulder, fastening his pace in fear. In a desperate attempt to make her give up on the chasing, the man reached into the girl's bag in his arms and searched for something, anything useful.

A bottle of water, a heavy leather covered book, a towel, a bottle of sunscreen, a pair of sunglasses, all started to rain before Astrid, one by one. The thief miserably missed all of his shots until he went out of non-valuables to throw and quickly found out he would have to try much harder.

As you watched the almost comic scene play out with some difficulty, seeing as you still have much catching up to do, you came across something in your way. An old volleyball, covered in sand and dirty from who knows what, had been forgotten there, as if by a play of destiny. You knew what to do.

“Astrid!” you yelled, claiming the attention of the blonde, who halted, her chest going up and down tiredly. Feeling extremely useful, you threw the ball at her, almost missing the mark, were it not for her quick hands.

She looked at it, then at you, then at it.

Then, with a mighty flung, delivered the ball flying straight into the running man's middle back with a loud thud. The hard leather made him crumble into his own face, burying it on the ground.

“Nice one!” she cheered, jogging over to the fallen body. She quickly grabbed her bag, as the man scrambled away, breathless.

“You guys are crazy!”, he wailed, fleeing.

“Did he take anything?” you asked, finally closing in on her.

“Nope. Everything is here,” she confirmed, after a minute. She was beaming confidently.

The sun was starting to settle down when the two of you started to make the way back, retrieving Astrid's belongings that were scattered around. Gleaming with sweat, your hands met when you both reached for her flowery coin purse.

“That was some great teamwork there, huh?” she commented, withdrawing. “Didn't know you had it in you...”

“Yeah...” you responded, dumbly.

The sound of footsteps turned out of nowhere once again, except this time, both turned at it in an instant.

You were greeted by a not menacing at all wrinkled old man rolling his ice cream cart down the beach.

"You want some? My treat," Astrid offered.

"What? No, I'm gonna treat you!" you countered.

"No way, I'm taking you out!"

"I thought I was taking you out," you looked at her with creased brows.

"Okay then, we're both taking each other out," the blonde shook her head, mockingly, "but I'm still paying."

Before you could reach for your wallet she was already giving the old man the money with one hand and handing you a colorful popsicle with the other.

"Hey!" you protested, uselessly.

As the man wished you a good night, she sucked on her own sweet innocently. You looked the other way, feeling your face heat up.

"I don't usually eat this kind of thing, but I'll make an exception for the special occasion," she said, smugly, "so the least you could do is let me pay, you know?"

"Not like you gave me any choice, but ok."

She gave you a playful -and painful- punch on the side for that, to which you laughed.

"Aggressive much?" you asked, jokingly.

She looked away unexpectedly. Did you say something wrong?

"Sorry. I can get a little too excited sometimes, I guess," she said, pulling a strand of hair behind her ear.

You stared at her wide-eyed, remembering your self-doubts from before. “I like you aggressive,” you said, stupidly.

“You what?”

“I mean, I like you anyway,” you stuttered. “I mean-”

“Oh come on. Don't play dumb with me, I know how I get,” she said, shrugging. “You don't have to take everything I do, you know.”

The two of you stood there watching the waves from a distance as you thought about that for a moment.

“I just want you to be yourself, Astrid,” you said, finally, which seemed to surprise her.

“That's nice of you to say,” she said with something unreadable in her eyes.

Astrid then threw a stained popsicle stick inside her bag, which slid down her shoulder and toned arm until it hit the ground with a thud.

You observed curiously as she gave you a look and ran to the ocean until she was knee deep in the water, the waves barely grazing her shorts. You took that as an invitation and started to follow, intrigued.

You were happily lured into her trap as only a few feet of distance you were met with a slap of sea water and Astrid's wild giggles in the background. You honestly should've expected it.

"Oh, come on!" you said in between spits of salty water.

"Ha ha ha!"

Astrid hugged her sides and gave out a hearty belly laugh, which only made it easier for you to splash her all the way to her lungs. And for her to spit it back on your face.

With a mighty war cry, the blonde tackled you down for revenge into the shallow waters.

 ...

Two minutes later, you collapsed on the sand, soaking wet and trembling with cold.

"I might have..." Astrid started, looking at you with her hands resting at her hips, "overreacted."

"Really? And what makes you thin-," you said, breathless, before being cut by the towel she decided to -very kindly- throw in your face.

"Hey, I-" Astrid stuttered for the first time in that entire afternoon.

“Yeah?” you asked, expectantly.

The girl gave you an enigmatic look as she pulled you up by the hand. You stumbled on your feet, not unaware of the proximity between your chest and hers.

“I guess I own your some hot tea after that. Want to come back to my place?”

“Yes,” you said, too fast. She gathered her belongings, grinning knowingly at your red face while you refused to say anything else about it.

The sky was a deep shade of purple by then, the only sources of light being the scarcely placed lampposts across the street, which made you glad to have Astrid by your side. She had your hand in yours as she lead you to a baby blue scooter leaning against the wall of a nearby convenience store.

“Hold on to something,” she instructed, before tightening her grip on the handlebars and speeding off into the night.

Feeling your body leaning back with the sudden start, you wrapped your arms around her middle as to not fall off and that's exactly where you stayed for the rest of the ride. The cold wind hitting against your face did little to chill you when you had your face pressed against her warm body.

You quickly found out that Astrid liked to go fast, as she nearly passed the speed limit only a few moments after you left the beach. She secretly tried to show off her skill as she made narrow turns and dodged holes on the road. You were too busy thinking about the stiffness of the fabled packs under her shirt to notice.

Twenty minutes later, you slowed down in front of her steps and she parked. She pulled out her keys and opened the front door, motioning for you to go in with a smile.

You took in her immaculate floor and immaculate walls and immaculate furniture and wondered if you should dare to touch anything without asking first, but she beat you to it when she told you to get comfortable as she retreated to what you assumed was the kitchen. You decided to sit down on the couch next to some very orderly placed cushions.

You took this opportunity to look at the collection of medals, trophies, and pictures of the same five people displayed around the room. You silently wondered if she would ever tell you the stories about all of these. 

As if summoned by your snooping -without snooping- a pair of sharp feet landed softly on the top of your head, claiming the spot as their own. A chill ran down your back when the newfound weight shifted above you. One large beak came into view, as the bird held onto your hair with its talons and stretched its neck to meet your curious gaze, hanging upside down. She squawked once, as if in greeting.

"Hi there," you responded.

"Stormfly!" Astrid's voice resonated from afar. "Behave!"

"Reee-ha-ve" the bird repeated, nonchalantly, letting out with a series of low caws while you laughed along. Stormfly, seemingly approving of your antics, flew away in satisfaction. 

Astrid came back a few minutes later with one tea-cup of steaming liquid in each hand. “Yaknog tea, fresh from the pot!” she announced, sitting down next to you.

“Thanks!”

The entire time you grabbed the drink and brought it to your lips you could feel the weight of her eyes on you, eagerly waiting for your reaction. You blew on it once to cool it off, then took a sip.

“It's...,” you started, after the surprisingly bitter, slimy liquid went down your throat in one big lump. “... not bad. I think.”

“What do you mean, you think?” Astrid demanded, putting her hands on her hips.

“It's not bad now, but it might be bad later,” you say with a sheepish grin.

“Shut up!” her elbow nudged your side as she drank from her own cup, “Tastes great to me,” she insisted, even as her face visibly cringed when she swallowed.

“Maybe it's the cup,” you joked, with one raised brow. She returned your gaze, defiantly.

“Then taste it somewhere else?” she suggested.

You looked at her, lost, before understanding dawned in -or at least, what you thought and hoped you had understood.

She scooted closer, locking eyes with yours.

“You mean...?” you asked, just to be sure.

Smirking, she grabbed the drink in your hands and settled it on the coffee table. You watched silently as took your face in her hold and offered a surprisingly sweet, quick peck on your lips.

You returned with a longer one, appreciating how soft she was against you. Astrid breathed in, deepening the kiss. Strong arms surrounded your head, her fingers tangling themselves on the back of your shirt. You circled her waist, pulling her body closer.

“Honestly,” you just couldn't resist the opportunity. “it still tastes bad, but it isn't because of you.”

Pretending to take offense, she made a small noise, hitting your arm -lightly this time. Knowingly, she stood up and pulled at you to follow her into her sheets. As you did so, you lost yourself into each other's eyes, arms, and lips, for the rest of the evening, and some of the next day's morning.

 

* * *

 

Sunlight beamed through the curtains, forcing your heavy eyelids open at the same moment the bedroom's door was swung open, momentarily allowing the smell of coffee inside.

The bed sunk in by your side, as a body threw itself by yours. You closed your eyes as if that would do any good.

“Hey,” Astrid poked gently in between your forehead, as you hummed. “Brought us breakfast, get up.”

“Only if you gimme a kiss,” you mumbled.

“Only if you get up,” she countered.

You studied her with only one eye from your hiding spot under the covers.

“Fair enough.”

 

 

 

 


	4. At the park with Snotlout

**XxxSnotManxXx**

 

Snotlout Jorgenson

Man, Single

167cm (5'6'')

21 years old, Aries

Speaks English

 

 

**My self-summary:**

 

Romantic dinner for two? A long walk by the beach? Ice skating? Whatever you choose, I won't' sleep at night if your heart isn't beating a little faster by the end of the day ;-)

I'm an actor, by the way. I worked in The Legend of Thor Bone-Crusher. You might remember me from the scene in the tavern as extra number three. I was also a model for a Before/After acne treatment commercial a while back as the Before. But don't worry, I'm very generous when it comes to autographs.

Now, remember: life is made of choices. And you're only one click away from making the best decision of your life! I'll be waiting ;-)

 

 **Me in a song:** "All The Shieldmaidens Say I'm Pretty Fly (For A Short Viking)"

 

* * *

 

 _XxxSnotManxXx_ _has logged on._

 

XxxSnotManxXx: Well, hi there ;-)

 

RDR: Hi :-)

 

XxxSnotManxXx: What are you up to, cutie?

 

RDR: Not much. You?

 

XxxSnotManxXx: Just lifting some weights. Casual stuff.

 

RDR: Oh, okay. I'm not bothering, am I? I can log off.

 

XxxSnotManxXx: NO

 

XxxSnotManxXx: I mean

 

XxxSnotManxXx: I have two arms, baby. I usually do two things at the same time.

 

XxxSnotManxXx: To stay sharp, you know?

 

 

XxxSnotManxXx: Like, right now, I have a weight in one hand and I'm having this lovely conversation with you in the other ;-)

 

XxxSnotManxXx: It's honestpcodjsliuialcpaaaaaaaa

 

RDR: What.

 

XxxSnotManxXx: I fell.

 

RDR: Are you okay?

 

XxxSnotManxXx: Yeah, sure.

 

XxxSnotManxXx: I'm a tough guy B-)

 

RDR: Then is it bad that I laughed a little? Hahaha

 

XxxSnotManxXx: Well

 

XxxSnotManxXx: My job here IS to make YOU smile;-*

 

XxxSnotManxXx: So no harm done.

 

XxxSnotManxXx: … then again.

 

XxxSnotManxXx: My vision... is getting blurry and... I think I see blood on the carpet... I might have opened something.

 

RDR: That sounds serious! What are you going to do?

 

XxxSnotManxXx: I'm going to suffer through it! Like a man ;-)

 

RDR: You can clean the carpet like a man too :-)

 

XxxSnotManxXx: Funny.

 

XxxSnotManxXx: You're very funny.

 

RDR: Thanks!

 

RDR: If I'm as funny as you're manly, then maybe I should try comedy.

 

XxxSnotManxXx: Ha ha.

 

RDR: But can anyone really get to that level? I don't know...

 

XxxSnotManxXx: Okay you can stop now >:(

 

RDR: I'm just kidding with you ;-)

 

XxxSnotManxXx: You can play all you want, sweetcheeks

 

XxxSnotManxXx: But no one can resist the old Snotlout charm ;-)

 

RDR: Must be because you're so humble.

 

XxxSnotManxXx: Among other things, yes ;-)

 

XxxSnotManxXx: But hey if you still haven't blocked me, it must mean something, right?

 

XxxSnotManxXx: :-D

 

RDR: You actually got me there. It's a least entertaining.

 

XxxSnotManxXx: I'll take it :-)

 

XxxSnotManxXx: Speaking of entertaining things...

 

XxxSnotManxXx: Have you ever roller skated?

 

XxxSnotManxXx: Actually, let me rephrase it.

 

XxxSnotManxXx: Have you ever roller skated with Snotlout?

 

RDR: Can't say that I have.

 

RDR: Are you asking me out?

 

XxxSnotManxXx: Woah, who said anything about going out?

 

XxxSnotManxXx: Boy you must have it bad for me if you're thinking about THAT

 

XxxSnotManxXx: But it's understandable B-)

 

RDR: Hahaha.

 

RDR: Okay, you win.

 

XxxSnotManxXx: Really? You'll go out with me?

 

RDR: Yeah, sure.

 

XxxSnotManxXx: Alright! :-D

 

XxxSnotManxXx: I'll be sure to text you later about it them. Gotta go... do some manly things now.

 

XxxSnotManxXx: :-* ;-)

 

 _XxxSnotManxXx_ _: has logged off._

 

* * *

 

It was a beautiful day to be outside. A refreshing breeze whisked at your clothes as you walked down the paved path. A couple of kids ran past you, their laughter filling the air along with the soft chirps of the birds. It was just the perfect weather to just forget where you were going, but keep walking nonetheless. Though the sight of a short, stocky figure not far ahead quickly made you remember.

He was sitting on a bench, running through his phone with a disinterested sort of look, seemingly oblivious to all the beauty around. As the sound of your footsteps got louder, he lifted his head and his face lit up for a moment.

"Hey there!" Snotlout greeted, loudly. Then, in a sudden shift, he turned on a very composed, cool face. "...I mean, hey."

"Hey, I mean, hey," you imitated, a little amused. He ignored that.

"So, did you get lost? Took you long enough to get here."

"Oh, I'm sorry," you quipped back, "did I make you wait too long in the beautiful outdoors?"

At that, he looked around as if regarding nature for the first time today and grading it from 0 to 10 in his mind. "I guess you have a point. It's alright."

"Nothing compared to you, though," he added, giving you a little wink. You rolled your eyes, remembering your conversations through the phone. He then stood up from his seat, making you notice something hidden behind the shade of the bench.

"What's that?" you asked, pointing.

"Oh, that," he repeated, scratching behind his head nervously. "I thought I make a surprise, I don't know."

Snotlout went to retrieve the mysterious object, bringing it to the light. It was a large basket, stuffed with so much who-knows-what that he had to push them down forcefully, before lifting it to you, as his only answer.

"A picnic basket?" you looked at him with momentary confusion. He nodded vigorously, awaiting your verdict.

"That's sweet," you smiled. He smiled back, visibly more relaxed now.

"Not that I'm cliche or anything," he assured, "Come on, let's find a place to set this up."

And so you walked side by side for some time turning lefts and rights past trees and other park-goers. It's was especially notable whenever you saw another couple Snotlout would look away so quickly it could cause whiplash. You wondered if you should ask.

At one point you started to find a more deserted area that was a safe distance from any rogue balls or frisbees but also had a large amount of shade to hide under. One particularly large tree, standing away from most other bushes and plants caught your attention and so you went for that.

Snotlout laid out a large checkered blanket -stitched by his mom herself, according to him- and laid it across the ground, telling you to sit. He then started to go through his basket, pulling out the food. Water, sandwiches, mini pies, crackers, granola bars, and fruits of many kinds.

When noticed you were staring at him with wide eyes, he stopped altogether just as he was about to take out what looked like a bottle of yak butter cider.

"What? Too much?" his face went red like a tomato. You thought it was kind of cute.

"Well, too much is always better than not enough," you told him. He closed the basket, leaving

still plenty more inside.

Snotlout was a very complicated guy, as you realized throughout the day. At first, there was this awkward silence between the two of you that you didn't really know how to break. So, choosing to ignore the elephant in the room, you helped yourself with some food - chocolate chip cookies, to be exact. Not that you expected them to be terrible, but you didn't expect them to be... perfect!

Snotlout himself had baked them, as he told you, with a sort of a smug look in his eyes, that soon dismantled itself when you complimented him. You began to talk about cooking, of all things. Sharing recipes and debating which plates were the best and in which occasions. Turns out he not only was a good baker, but he also knitted and was writing his own book.

"Also, I'm on my way to becoming the greatest star Hollywood has ever seen," he added.

Surprisingly enough, you started to see there was another side to Snotlout besides the arrogant, delusional guy he seemed to like people thinking he was. He didn't only talk about himself -although he did that a lot- he also asked about your own hobbies and tastes, and gave some great advice to some of the troubles you had been experiencing. Well, and also some terrible advice, perhaps to balance it all out.

"What I mean is: sometimes you just have to punch them right in the face!" he said, enthusiastically. You were sipping on some lemonade, just nodding along with the entire thing, as he described an intricate plan of action involving asserting dominance and a lot of cursing. The wind was brushing at his hair in a way that made you forget what the original subject of the conversation even was. Who could blame you, when he had such beautiful blue eyes?

"So, did you get it?" he made that question as if you were under some sort of test. "What are you supposed to do?"

"Just punch them in the face," you replied, very blasé.

"They learn so quick..." Snotlout smiled at you, proudly. He seemed to have good intentions, even though his solutions were almost always reached through violence.

It was the muffled rustling of leaves that snapped you out of it. Your eyes fell behind Snotlout's back to one small collection of shrubs, a few feet away. He stopped mid-sentence and followed your gaze, turning around with suspicion. Not really feeling like it was something important enough to investigate but also a little curious, you held your breaths together as you watched.

Suddenly a tiny nose peeked out of the foliage, followed by a grey snout and two black eyes. The raccoon slowly padded across the grass towards your picnic, uncaring of Snotlout's exasperated noises.

"It's a good thing you brought so much food..." you commented as the marsupial sniffed at a tuna sandwich laying nearby.

"It's not for him!" he exclaimed, scowling at the animal. "Seriously, where's the respect?"

"It's a raccoon," you pointed out.

"So what? Do raccoons have some sort of privilege for stealing food I don't know of?" he snatched the sandwich away from the raccoon, who stretched it's little paws out in an attempt to reach it. Despite your date's protests, you grabbed one of his delicious cookies and offered your hand out.

"Hey!" Snotlout put his hands on his hips, like a mother hen. The raccoon chewed on its treat, seemingly oblivious to the scolding it was receiving. That is until it went back for the sandwich from before, now forgotten, as the man went on on a spiel about how important it is to have respect -

respect for Snotlout, more specifically. Affronted, he grabbed the sandwich once again, except this time the small animal responded with a growl of warning -which was, of course, ignored by the latter.

"Yeah, that's what you get!" Snotlout teased, waving the raccoon's lunch above him. "Nothing!"

It screeched loudly, before lunging at his face with it's small, sharp claws. You tried to offer your help, by calming the animal down, but couldn't really do that with Snotlout angrily pulling at his attacker. The raccoon was definitely winning this one.

In desperation, Snotlout started to throw punches at the little beast, missing miserably one after the other. Bullheaded as he was, he kept on this strategy until he was about to land one... wasn't for the raccoon jumping off his face, at last, at the nick of time. Snotlout hit himself squarely in between his eyes. To be fair, had the animal not dodged, his aim would have been perfect.

He stood there, looking down at his assailant in anger. He stomped down his foot as if to intimidate the raccoon and this one had none of it. As soon as you knew it, Snotlout was running through the park with an angry ball of fur in his trail. You watched the rather comic scene develop in front of your eyes, the struggle of man against nature.

However, it seemed Snotlout wasn't content in offending just nature, not at all. As the raccoon pursued relentlessly after the little man screaming in panic, they left a trail of destruction and misery behind as they stepped over family picnics and knocked around unsuspecting bystanders. It seemed like Snotlout's ability to annoy was so powerful it earned him even more pursuers.

Angry parents, troublemaking children, one outraged old lady, and one raccoon -which, at this point, wasn't even mad with the poor man anymore, but was having fun anyway- and some others you couldn't quite distinguish in the crowd, all raced after Snotlout, who kept running for his dear life.

You had to do something. This, although incredibly funny, was getting ridiculous. You set out to think of a plan, preferably before Snotlout's legs failed him. For a short guy, he could run pretty fast, you thought. Or perhaps, the reality was that the people chasing weren't really giving their all to it... Because was one loudmouth reason enough to start a chasing? You bet after the first person stood up and started running, most of them just did it for the hell of it. That's mob mentality for you.

And what do mobs love?

"Did I hear free food?!" you cupped your hands around your mouth and yelled at the top of your lungs, making a few heads turn, but not all. "I can't believe there's all of this food for free just laying around in here!"

That seemed to do it. People started to make their way over where the absurd amount of food was. Once again, it was a good thing Snotlout had brought so much, especially since you and he hadn't eaten half of what was available. You reached out for the cookie one last time before it was too late, then casually sneaked out of the party.

You scouted around for only a few minutes before you came across your date, crouched behind a bush, looking out for his demise.

"Are they gone?" he whispered, very loudly.

"They're busy. But we should probably get out of here," you informed him, trying to appear the most as if you were just talking to a bush, nothing more. The two of you then set out for the gates of the park, quietly at first but after it was clear no one would follow behind, you couldn't help but laugh at the whole thing. All the while, Snotlout remained silent, not looking at you.

"What's wrong?" you questioned, thinking you had offended him.

"What's wrong? Oh, come on..." he said, suppressing a sigh.

"I honestly don't know what you're talking about..." he lifted an eyebrow at your response, to which you shrugged.

"Well, I mean... this date was going so great," he mumbled, crossing his arms. "I'm just so bullheaded some times."

He was clearly upset at this, even though you hadn't said anything to make him think you didn't have a good time. Could it be that he was so insecure about this date that he was sure he had messed it up, despite the evidence proving the contrary? It was strange seeing him looking so down when you had started to get used to the egotistical, but well-meaning Snotlout.

"Here," you stopped walking, grabbing his arm. He halted as well, looking at you with confusion as you presented him with a half crumbled chocolate chip cookie. "Any bad mood can be fixed with one of these."

Snotlout looked at it for a moment, before giving you a big, crooked grin.

"I had a lot of fun today," you reassured him.

The rest of the walk was certainly much the better after this point. You shared the sweet baked good with gusto, silently agreeing not to discuss anything much further, instead to savor the moment for what it was.

As you walked through the exit, it seemed like the day was over, but neither of you was in any hurry to leave the other. So, with only a small amount of sheepishness, you hung around the exit, people watching and avoiding the moment when you would have to say goodbye. You had your back against the wall, your arm brushing against his and your mind running miles per hour. Maybe you should suggest...

"Hey, um-" Snotlout beat you to it, "I don't know if I told you, but I was in a movie once."

"You mentioned it a few times, yes."

"Good, good," he said, clasping his hands together, nervously. "I was thinking, well... Doyouwanttocomebacktomyplaceandwatchsomething?"

"What now?" you tilted your head at him, chuckling at the amount a gibberish he had just sputtered. He swallowed.

"Do you want to... come back to my place and watch something?" he repeated, pulling at the collar of his shirt. "Geez, do I have to say everything twice..."

You smirked at him: "Yeah, sure."

"Really? Cool," Snotlout looked really cute when he was surprised.

He guided you through the surroundings of the park, a confident smile plastered across his face and you used this opportunity to covertly lace your fingers with his. You strolled leisurely for what felt like no time at all until you arrived at the parking place of a scandalously red convertible. Honestly, this car couldn't belong to anyone else other than Snotlout.

The car beeped and he made a show of opening your door for you, then jogging around the rear back to the driver's seat. With one loud roar, the vehicle came to life and soon you were off. You watched the sunset as you traveled in a reasonably peaceful mood that was only interrupted a few dozens of times when Snotlout exchanged obscenities with other drivers that weren't where they were supposed to be or traffic lights that took too long to turn green -in that last case, the feeling wasn't mutual. Twenty minutes later you were at his place.

"Welcome to my crib," he announced, once at the front door. Finally sighting the fabled carpet -which was, in fact, not stained with blood- you took a seat at the couch and took a moment to look at the room's decoration, consisting mostly of workout equipment, lava lamps, and beanbags. All of that was especially complemented by one large dog laying on the middle of the floor, clearly, more owner of the place than the actual human that lived there.

"Hookfang!" Snotlout called, "you're drooling on the carpet again!"

The dog, not intimidated in the very least, bared his teeth, then slowly standing up and leaving the conversation.

"Yeah, you better go!" Overall, Snotlout didn't seem to have a good way with animals.

"We don't really have to watch that movie, by the way..." he said, continuing the conversation from before. He was looking through his collection of DVDs with a hand on his chin, evaluating your options. "Actually, I don't think I want you to watch that, ever. I was a corpse."

"In a tavern scene?" you questioned, wondering would they need actors just to play dead on set.

"It's a weird movie," he said, matter-of-factly.

Deciding on a suitable title, he made himself comfortable by your side. You had no idea what movie he had chosen, you weren't paying attention. The sofa was definitely not big enough for two people to be at an appropriate distance from each other -which for you, was just fine.

You suck in a breath when, after a definitely not fake yawn, he attempted to stretch his arm on the back of the couch behind you. Except instead of doing that, his elbow went the wrong way and hit you in the eye.

"Sorry, sorry, sorry!"

You covered your face with both hands, muttering a low groan of pain. He hadn't hit you that hard, but in situations like these, the shock of being struck makes it hurt much more.

"It's okay..." you said, already feeling the ache subside to a slight numbness.

"Oh, my Thor," he placed his palms on your shoulders very carefully, like he could break you with his touch. You lowered your arms, showing him it was alright. "That was my bad, I'm really sorry."

"Yes, that was terrible," you said, mockingly. The way his face went pale with fear was a little exaggerated, but at least he cared.

"I don't think I can survive that one..." after that he started to catch up on what you were playing, rolling his eyes with a little smirk. "Unless..."

"Unless...?" his smile dropped.

"...you kiss me better?"

Snotlout didn't do anything for a second and you really thought he wouldn't do it. But then, with all the care in the world, he held your face in his hands, pulling you towards him. He landed the softest of kisses on your closed eye, then moved back, waiting for your response.

You didn't give him any, instead leaned in for another peck, this time on the lips. He wrapped his arm around your waist and you around his neck, drawing closer. Your kisses became longer and deeper as he picked you up and moved on to his bedroom. He was charming and attentive, even out of his element, and you couldn't feel any more comfortable. Shy and eager, both of you just wanted more and more of each other. It was a sweet night, for sure. A long, sweet night.

 

* * *

 

 

It was almost noon when you started to drift into the realm of consciousness, wishing the next day hadn't come yet. You sluggishly assessed your surroundings, noticing a pair of eyes admiring you from the other side of the bed.

"Hey there, beautiful," Snotlout said.

"Hey there, beautiful," you replied, cuddling with his body and staying like this until you had the guts to get out of bed and of his arms.

 

 

 


	5. At the zoo with Fishlegs

**Mr_Fishy**

 

Fishlegs Ingerman

Man, Single

175cm (5'6'')

20 years old, Cancer

Speaks English

 

**My self-summary:**

 

Pancake lover, D&D player, and a huge nerd. My friends would probably say this is a terrible way to start my profile, but we should be ourselves, right?

I work at a comic book store, take yoga classes after my shift and, finally, at the end of the day play some old videogames nobody really remembers. I have a collection.

So, just your regular awkward geek with a heart of gold 24/7. Message me for more detailed stats and statics :-)

 

 **Me in a song:** "All I Want For Snoggletog Is You"

 

* * *

 

 

_Mr_Fishy has logged on_

 

Mr_Fishy: Hiya :-)

 

Mr_Fishy: How are you?

 

RDR: Hi :-)

 

RDR: I'm okay and you?

 

Mr_Fishy: Good! Good

 

Mr_Fishy: I mean, I'm good and it's good that you're good.

 

Mr_Fishy: Do you

 

Mr_Fishy: Come here often??

 

RDR: Not really. Just got the app.

 

Mr_Fishy: Oh, right.

 

Mr_Fishy: Me too :-)

 

RDR: Meet a lot of people already?

 

Mr_Fishy: Not at all

 

Mr_Fishy: Just gathered the courage to send my first text.

 

Mr_Fishy: In here. In this app.

 

Mr_Fishy: Not out of all texts.

 

Mr_Fishy: I text a lot, actually.

 

Mr_Fishy: More than I talk to people.

 

Mr_Fishy: In person, not in text.

 

Mr_Fishy: Because I text a lot.

 

Mr_Fishy: I said that already, sorry.

 

RDR: It's okay.

 

RDR: You seem nervous.

 

Mr_Fishy: What gave it away?

 

Mr_Fishy: I'm way worse in person. It's embarrassing.

 

RDR: Don't worry, I get like that too.

 

RDR: It's also super embarrassing.

 

Mr_Fishy: Oh, I bet you don't.

 

Mr_Fishy: You're already doing better than me.

 

Mr_Fishy: But that's really nice of you to say. Thanks :-)

 

RDR: No biggie :-)

 

RDR: So, you like old games.

 

RDR: Do you have a favorite?

 

Mr_Fishy: Oh I couldn't possibly choose one.

 

Mr_Fishy: It's like choosing between one of your children.

 

RDR: That's true haha

 

RDR: Which one was the last one you played then?

 

Mr_Fishy: Let me see...

 

Mr_Fishy: Maces & Talons Remastered

 

Mr_Fishy: Ever heard of it?

 

RDR: I love that one!

 

RDR: I'm terrible at it though haha.

 

Mr_Fishy: Really?

 

Mr_Fishy: We should definitely play it sometime!

 

RDR: We should, yeah.

 

RDR: We could be embarrassing together.

 

Mr_Fishy: That would be amazing :-)

 

 

Mr_Fishy: Would you want to?

 

Mr_Fishy: Maybe meet and talk sometime?

 

RDR: Sure :-)

 

Mr_Fishy: Great!

 

Mr_Fishy: Oh, I have to go now, sorry.

 

Mr_Fishy: It's really late and I haven't even started on dinner yet :-(

 

RDR: No problem.

 

RDR: We'll talk some other time.

 

Mr_Fishy: Don't think I'm gonna forget about that date, by the way.

 

Mr_Fishy: Should I call it a date?

 

Mr_Fishy: Oh Thor.

 

RDR: It's okay, Fishlegs hahah.

 

 

Mr_Fishy: I'll catch you later.

 

Mr_Fishy: Bye bye :-)

 

* * *

 

You walked through the gates, making your way through a large group of kids scattered around the space. The sky was filled with white clouds and it was even a little too cold to be out and about, but being the weekend, the Zoo was packed with families going out and students on school trips. You had no problem with that as long as you could find who you were looking for.

And you did spot him pretty soon. He was standing near the entrance, as he promised, looking around expectantly as if you could magically appear from anywhere else other than there. Fishlegs ran a hand through his short blonde hair, before sighting you walking up to him.

"You're here!" he stated. "Not that you're late or anything, I just wasn't sure you would come."

"I said I would, didn't I?" you asked, a little confused.

"Well, yes but..." he scratched at the back of his head for a moment, measuring his words. "Oh, nevermind. We're both here and that's what matters."

You nodded to that, appreciating his positiveness, but still curious about what he ended up not telling you. Instead, you set out side by side, without any direction in mind.

"So, have you ever been to Berk's Zoological Park?" he asked, casually.

"Not really, no," you answered. "I don't know why, though, this place is really cool!"

"I know right?" he smiled gleefully, "This place actually has the largest animal population in all of the country! And it's the biggest too."

"Wow, I don't know that," impressed, you returned his grin.

"It's because the pens are all really big! They were made with the animal's natural habitat in mind and, well, as you can see," he motioned to a nearby cage full that stretched for an astounding amount of ground, so much so you could only faintly see the other side with all the animals in the way. There were giraffes, elephants, rhinoceros and many more species you couldn't identify. "many species reside in the same place. Mostly those that won't kill each other..."

He looked at the animals with a special glint in his eyes like he had forgotten you were there, then glanced back at you and went red in the cheeks when he noticed you were actually listening to him. "Oh my, sorry for rambling, I think you got the idea..." he chuckled, looking briefly at the ground as he said that.

"You know a lot about this place, Fishlegs!" you ignored his comment, trying to reassure him.

"Oh, I'm a huge nerd, I know," he said, waving off your compliment.

"Do you know what animal is that?" you asked, as you came across a particularly puzzling creature. It looked a lot like a normal deer, except for the pair of vampire-like fangs coming out of its mouth. It turned its head at you as if it could hear you speak.

"If I'm not mistaken, that's a water deer," Fishlegs explained, "it's known as the vampire deer, but it doesn't actually drink any blood. If it did, imagine walking home one night and being ambushed by one of these?"

You both laughed at the absurd situation. "What about that one over there?" you pointed at what looked like a rock moving subtly from place to place and almost fully hidden by the grass.

"That's a pangolin," he told you. At the same moment, the small mammal lifted its curious brown head to survey to the surrounding area, proving it was, indeed, not a rock.

Fishlegs and you continued your walk mostly like this, with him patiently explaining to you about all of the life that surrounded you, amongst other things. He was an incredibly intelligent guy, as you quickly learned by listening to him talk about things no normal human should know without at least some googling. When you commented on that, he revealed to you that it was an old dream of his to study the planet's fauna, but that he had given up on this when he found out his passion for the geek culture -and it is important to note that he was almost disgusted by himself when using this term, affirming that it was such a poor way to describe such a complicated subject.

When you moved on to that topic, he was even more enthusiastic to share his knowledge and you two discussed for what seemed like ages about what consoles were the best, what games had aged well and which series was doing the best sequels so far. He also told you that he always wanted to create something that boys like him would fan over - a card game about dragons to be precise.

You couldn't help but beam along with him when he spoke, for he might be the sweetest boy you had ever gone out with. They way his chubby face would light up every time he talked about a beloved title or an especially moving ending... Fishlegs was cute too, but that was obvious from the start. His adorable freckles, his shiny green eyes, and his huggable... everything! You found yourself blushing when at times he would look at you in the eyes as you talked -and he did the same thing. There was one specific moment you recalled him pushing his little braid behind his ear, very naturally, and you wondering what his hair would feel like to the touch.

"...Can you believe in this game you can confront dragons by shouting at them?" Fishlegs was saying, sometime later. "Like that would work!"

You nodded, absentmindedly, as the path you were walking transformed into a dark tunnel, leading into the Reptiles Aisle.

"But I have to admit: It's a pretty good game anyways..."

This part of the zoo had significantly fewer children than the others, probably due to the fact that lizards and snakes weren't exactly the moving-around-and-doing-things kind of being, which for a kid wasn't all that attractive. It was a dimly lit, calm space with mostly sleeping animals.

"Look! It's hunting..." Fishlegs pulled you up next to an aquarium like space that, according to the plaque on it's left, housed a small red snake with a name so long you couldn't pronounce. Inside, a small white mouse had been release to enjoy fleeting moments of freedom. From the foliage emerged a tiny red head, looking for its lunch... It wasn't long before you and Fishlegs cringed, looking away from the gruesome scene. "Oh, nevermind..."

 

"Isn't nature beautiful..." you shared a look with him, neither of you daring to peek at the aftermath.

Many tiny, dark eyes watched as you moved on, fumbling with your hands and with a light skip to your pace.

"It's okay..."

"Yeah..." he muttered. In the semidarkness, he gave you an awkward smile, then released your hand before you could even realize it had been held. "Sorry about that!"

Your senses were flooded by the light outside and the sudden lack of space to move, which thankfully lasted for only a few feet. The children were back, running away from their parents to try and get a better look at the animals and subsequently pushing people aside. It seemed that the Gorilla's exhibit was right outside of the Reptile's Aisle.

Not far ahead was a habitat that, at first glance, looked empty, aside from the vegetation inside. The surrounding area was also deserted, as most would pass by the opportunity to look at trees at the zoo. Aside from that, there was a large dent on the brick balconies surrounding the space, which was signalized by an impressive amount of bright yellow stand sighs. You had no idea what had happened there, but Fishlegs stepped closer, never one to judge a book by its cover.

"They're probably sleeping..." he said, holding his chin in thought.

"Actually, it's just one," you corrected, pointing at one educational tablet next to the crumbles. Garff, as it said, was one of the few male Bengal tigers in the zoo.

"Oh, I hadn't seen that... hey, I heard about this guy!" Fishlegs joined you, looking over your shoulder to read the text. "I read once that he was so aggressive with the other tigers, which is really rare if you think about it, that they had to make a pen just for him."

At closer inspection, you could now see a long, furry tail dangling from between the tree branches. "I wouldn't blame him... this is the perfect weather to stay in and take a nap," you joked. Just above your heads, the clouds got thicker and thicker by the minute, many of them black and menacing.

"I should have checked the forecast..." he said, apologetically. You turned to him, wanting to say something that would make him stop apologizing for once and for all, but your mind was blank. All you could do was stare at him with creased brows.

When you finally opened your mouth, you were cut short by an unexpected shove on your back. One of the kids from Gorilla's den seemed to have found its way all the way over here only to disrupt you. You fell forward, with only one thing to hold on to: Fishlegs -who happened to be standing dangerously close to the edge of the gap that would lead into the tiger's habitat. He dipped back, flailing his arms around madly to regain balance, but it was all too late.

You tried to grab him, but the big guy had already knocked back the yellow sighs and was tumbling down the small hill, shrieking in terror. The commotion caused people to gather around as you held you watched your date fall into his face on the dirt. He stayed like this for a minute and you sucked in a collective breath with the crowd.

"I'm okay," Fishlegs said, shakingly getting to his feet. You wished as you had never wished before, that Garff would stay asleep and far away from him, but with such cacophony in the previously silent part of the zoo, it looked like that wouldn't be the case.

The tiger swiftly jumped down from the branches of its resting place, its long tail trailing behind while he circled the intruder, inspecting it. He was weirdly big for its species, almost the same size as Fishlegs himself and the grass crunched loudly its knuckles as he moved.

"I'm not okay..." The blonde let out a long high pitched gagging noise, petrified in place with his arms raised in front of his body in a mildly defensive position. The feline was drawing in close and he wasn't moving, not even trying to run away.

You grabbed at the edges of the balcony that separated the two of you, hoping to wake him out of his stupor. "Fishlegs, do something!"

"Do something?" he echoed, so quietly you almost didn't hear it, with all the talking in the background. "I- I can't even hold your hand... and you want me to do something? Who do you think I am? Thor himself?"

The really wasn't the best moment for this, but your heart did soften a little after that sentence. You hadn't realized it was such a big deal for him what happened back in the snake exhibit... or rather several times throughout the day. You had noticed that self-deprecating behavior before but had thought it wouldn't be your place to comment on it. Maybe it was time to stop ignoring it or Fishlegs could become a tiger's chewing toy.

"Of course you can, Fishlegs!" you reassured him. "And I would hate to miss the chance to see you try again... but for that, you have to get out of there alive!"

These weren't the most encouraging words, you were aware of that, but the quick look that he gave you was so touching, it felt like the most comforting speech you could have come up with.

"You know what? You're right!" he said, triumphantly. "Now listen here, kitty, I might be fat and I might have tiny legs, but I got some moves!"

The tiger halted at a loss, not having expected Fishleg's sudden change of posture. This was definitely not what you had in mind when you told Fishlegs he could hold your hand.

Garff lowered his head, preparing for his attack with his tail swinging back and forth. Fishlegs rolled his shoulders and raised his knuckles as if he was preparing for a boxing match. You were at a loss of words, honestly.

The crowd sucked in a collective breath. The tiger pulled out its claws, lunging with a powerful roar that traveled the entire Zoo. Fishlegs' battle cry was easily drowned out, but the sentiment was still there.

Then, while mid-air the beast was struck with three quick and silent shots knocking down its weight on top of its opponent. You gasped, as several guards started to climb down into the habitat, one of them with a sleek dart gun strapped to their back.

"Ouch..." Fishlegs groaned as the snoring tiger was lifted off him. He looked very lost, scanning his surroundings as if that entire sequence had been but a fever dream. Then, when he was brought up to ground level, he looked at you with a sheepish smile, fidgeting with his hands in an apprehensive manner. You covered his fingers with yours, grinning with relief.

Half an hour later, the Zoo's staff concluded that he was alright to leave and you and he agreed that you didn't want to be near wild animals anytime soon. You walked through the gates sharing a laugh at the ridiculous turn of events the day had turned. Fishlegs was incredulous, but you were just glad that he was alright.

"I didn't mean 'go and fight a tiger!'"

"I don't know what came over me-" he admitted as a drop of water hit him in between the eyes.

By that time, the dark clouds that blocked the setting sun finally acted on their promise of rain. One raindrop became a few and a few became many, soaking your hair and clothes in less than a minute.

"My house is nearby!" Fishlegs yelled over the noise. You nodded at the unspoken invitation, too cold to become anxious at the prospect of getting to know his home.

He gentlemanly offered his arm for you to hold onto and guided you through the rising fog... It was good to know that your words had an impact on him. Shielding your head with animal fact pamphlets, you skipped over puddles together for a very short time, although it seemed like it was much more. Fishleg's fingers interlaced with yours warm and made you forget all about the freezing wind.

You eventually found a round minivan -Fishleg's car- parked on the sidewalk not too far from the Zoo. The inside smelled of pines and... just plain cleanness. He turned on the heater without you having to ask for it, which you thanked for with a smile.

Fishlegs was a very careful and polite driver. He would stop at yellow signs, always go ten miles under the speed limit and let other cars pass by and take his place in lines. You admired his discipline, even though you had a feeling that type of attitude had made him arrive late in more than a handful of situations. In any case, it took you only twenty minutes to arrive at your destination.

Fishlegs' house had a beautiful, well taken care of garden in front of it -one that you didn't have time to appreciate, because of the downpour mercilessly drenching you and him.

After fumbling for his keys for a moment and almost dropping them, he opened the door, hushing you inside with a hand on your back.

"Make yourself comfortable, I'll be right back," he said, disappearing through a doorway as you settled yourself on the couch, studying the room with interest. Rows and more rows of books filled half of the shelves, while videogame cases filled the other half and the shelf themselves covered the walls almost entirely. The Feng Shui was high on this one, as every piece of furniture seemed to be aligned with the next, making the living room a very pleasing image to look at. Two things stood out the most for you: A neatly trimmed bonsai tree that took up all of the space in one the corner tables; and a little cage with colorful, twisted tubes coming out of it. From inside, you could hear a faint noise almost like... scratchin- no. Like digging.

 

Curiosity took the best of you and made you approach the small cage. Only now as you weren't surrounded by fluffy pillows, you really noticed how much you were was shaking. That short walk from Fishlegs' car to his home, combined with the weather had been enough to make you shiver with cold. Hugging your sides, you encountered a tiny, furry butt digging through shavings at the bottom of the cage. It burrowed out of sight so an equally tiny, furry head could pop out and catch you snooping.

"Oh, I see you found Meatlug!" a strange warmth enveloped you, settling down your trembling body. Fishlegs placed the thick mantle on your shoulders before poking a finger inside the cage, rubbing the guinea pig's head affectionately. "She's my little furball, yes she is..." he said with a slight falsetto to his tone. You didn't know he could be any sweeter.

"She's adorable," you agreed, pulling the mantle close to your body. "Also, thank you."

"I thought you'd be cold," he shrugged.

"I'm okay now." As Meatlug hid from view, you gave him a sideways glance, thinking back to the day that had passed. Fishlegs had been good company and so sweet, but you were still just as nervous as he had been when holding your hand in that dark room.

"I'm glad! As soon as this rain stops, I'll give you a ride home, I promise," he replied, ever the gentleman. "Actually, now that I think of it, I don't know why didn't I just do that in the first place."

You pursed your lips: "I like this option better, I think."

"I mean, unless you'd rather I went ho-" you added, feeling like you may have imposed your stay here. He was quick to stop you, facing you with a small smile, although his eyes were looking the other way.

"No, no, you're great! Here. You're great here. You're good company," Fishlegs stuttered, rubbing his hands together, as he had done many times that day.

Then in a burst of confidence that you only get when you are really not confident at all, you placed your hands in his soft cheeks and brought him to you. Your lips met for only a couple of seconds, enough for you to become aware of your actions and pull away.

"Wow," Fishlegs finally got the nerve to look at in the eyes, while you still had no words to explain yourself. "Okay, I wasn't going to say this, but here it goes... I'm not really good at that stuff."

"And you think I am?" you chuckled, stiffly. He ignored your comment, then mimicked your movements. Holding your face with tenderness, he said, very sincerely: "So I'm glad you did this, or it would take me a least two more hours to kiss you."

A smile shied its way across your features and you closed the gap once again, deciding that was enough talking for one day.

You shared a kiss again, and another one, and one more. He had his cheeks flushed as you brushed his braid behind his ear and tangled your fingers in his hair. Your chest was constantly heaving, tense as you were. At the same time, both of you felt yourself let go in a way you weren't used to and experienced things that made you sweat and tingle in all the right ways. It was a sweet, long night.

 

* * *

 

You didn't want to leave the softness of the bed when the sun came up and the sudden brightness of the room made your eyes start to twitch. The smell of something sweet and tasty, however, was what truly made you sit up.

"Good morning," Fishlegs greeted, sitting on the mattress across from you. "I made pancakes."

"You're a sweetheart, did you know that?" you said, pecking him on the cheek.

 


	6. At the bar with Ruffnut

**Ruff_Stuff**

 

Ruffnut Thorston

Woman, Single

175cm (5'6'')

20 years old, Scorpio

Speaks English

 

**My Self-summary:**

 

Hey ya sick animal. That's right, you heard me. You're a sick animal, because you are over there looking all nice and pretty, instead of sending me a text ;-) That's cruel, it is.

Okay, hear me out, hot stuff. If you go out with me, I promise you'll have a good time. We can chat, have some dinner, swim in the backyard pools of some unsuspecting families' homes, run away from the cops together. Or run AT them, depending on how crazy you are. I like me some crazy!

I'll even carve our initials, not because I'm cheesy or anything, but cause I can't really think of a more romantic way of letting you know I ALWAYS have a knife with me ;-)

So, whatcha waiting for?

 

**If I had to describe me in a song:** _"Smells Like Zippleback Gas"_

 

* * *

 

_Ruff_Stuff has logged on._

 

Ruff_Stuff: hey there, are you okay?

 

RDR: Oh, hi there

 

RDR: I'm fine

 

RDR: Why do you ask?

 

Ruff_Stuff: figured it must have hurt, you know

 

Ruff_Stuff: falling all the way from Valhalla like that

 

RDR: Oh, that's an old one hahaha

 

Ruff_Stuff: dug that up from the grave, just for you

 

Ruff_Stuff: lol

 

RDR: I'm flattered, truly I am

 

Ruff_Stuff: but of course

 

Ruff_Stuff: no one can resist the ol Thorston's charm ;-)

 

Ruff_Stuff: runs in the family

 

Ruff_Stuff: except for my brother

 

Ruff_Stuff: he's like a baby yak

 

RDR: Small and bald?

 

Ruff_Stuff: HA

 

Ruff_Stuff: I wish

 

Ruff_Stuff: that was a good one, I should use it on him some time

 

RDR: You're welcome

 

RDR: I want royalties for that

 

Ruff_Stuff: no fair, it's MY twin

 

Ruff_Stuff: I have ownership over the source material

 

RDR: Can't argue with that :P haha

 

RDR: But you owe me one

 

Ruff_Stuff: ok ok

 

Ruff_Stuff: how about I pay you back with a drink?

 

Ruff_Stuff: ever heard of the “whack-a- jack-slap-ya-back”?

 

RDR: Not really, no

 

RDR: Is that a drink?

 

Ruff_Stuff: it's not A drink, it's ruffnut's drink!

 

Ruff_Stuff: you know, there's this cozy lil place that I'm quite familiar with if you catch my drift

 

Ruff_Stuff: where they have this bad boy and some killing yak legs

 

Ruff_Stuff: not to mention some tight music

 

RDR: Sounds like a good time.

 

Ruff_Stuff: you got that right

 

Ruff_Stuff: especially with you there ;-)

 

RDR: Alright, charmer haha.

 

Ruff_Stuff: hold on

 

Ruff_Stuff: ugh

 

Ruff_Stuff: my bro wants something

 

Ruff_Stuff: gotta bounce, sugar

 

Ruff_Stuff: I'll text you later about that drink k? You in?

 

RDR: It's a date :)

 

Ruff_Stuff: nice :)

 

_Ruff_Stuff has logged off._

 

* * *

 

Entering the dimly lit abode, you were immediately invaded by all the noise and all the life. You stood for a moment or two in the same spot, scanning the room. A very distinct -but pleasing nonetheless- sub-genre of rock was being played live on a stage, surrounded by a moderate crowd of young bodies swaying to the music. The rest of the space was populated by tables and chairs filled with other young bodies clad in leather jackets and spikes and the bar. The latter was mostly full as well, save by one stool that was occupied by one lone girl's purse.

Ruffnut bobbed her head back and forth to the beat, as she sipped from a glass, the bright liquid inside lighting up her features nicely. At the sight of her, you started to make your way through the dancing patrons.

“I'm saving it, dumbass,” you heard her say to someone you couldn't see in a hoarse voice. “Oh, hey! There you are.”

"Hi!" you tried to speak over the music as she removed her purse so you could seat. "Thanks!"

"No problem," she winked, "Been hanging here since lunch time."

"Really? Didn't you say at seven?" you asked, worried you had made her wait. She waved a hand at the concerned look on your face.

"Yeah, you got that right, don't worry," Ruffnut said, reassuringly. "I said I _know_ this place, remember?”

To prove her point, she smirked, snapping her fingers sharply at the barman: "Eret!"

This one, who seemed to be at the time wooing a red-haired woman on the other side of the bar, sighed and reluctantly made his way to the two of you.

"Yeah, what do you want?" he asked, annoyed.

“Two specials, if you please, my good pal,” the girl told him in a mockingly sweet tone. Eret, turned around without a word, looking to finish this interaction as quickly as possible.

"He and I go way back," Ruffnut informed you in a whisper, despite his behavior, "we met at a party."

"Is that so?" you responded, amused -to which she snickered. Not two minutes later, Eret returned with your drinks, placing them loudly on the wooden surface next to Ruffnut, making some of it spill out of the glasses.

"Careful around this one," he warned you, bitterly, "she assaults people."

"Hey!" the blonde raised her hands at the -already walking away- bartender, before turning back to you, "got no respect around here. I'll get him back!"

"Hey, as long as you don't assault me," you grinned, eyeing your drink with some level of suspicion. It was a tall, transparent glass, in which a lime green substance swirled maliciously and made your eyes water, almost as if it had some sort of gas creeping out of it.

"Ha! No, you're cool," Ruffnut gave one last dirty look into the man's back, then returned your smile. She picked up her own glass and downed all of its contents in ten solid seconds. When she finished, you could see a light shiver run up and down her shoulders as she comically held back a burp. "Also, if you're wondering, he didn't spit on it. At least not in yours. Mine? Not so sure..." she assured you, peering inside the, now empty, cup.

“I hadn't thought of that...” you admitted, giving the liquid a long sniff, then coughing loudly. Ruffnut laughed, patting you in the shoulder. “What's that name about anyway?”

"My brother made it up, he's good with names..." she told you, proudly "Whack-a-jack-slap-ya-back: it can whack the air out of any jack and if you can't take it, I slap ya back so you can breathe again!"

"Got it," you gulped.

“So... aren't you gonna try it?” her gaze shifted from you to the drink, back and forth, expectantly. She looked like an adorable, anxious puppy.

Clearing your throat, you sipped on it. Surprised by the sweet, mint taste it had, you hummed pleasantly. Feeling confident, you attempted to chug it down like she had done before, quickly finding out that the strong beverage took a small amount of time to quick in. The liquid burned as it went down, warming you up from the inside and making your head sway suddenly. You must have made an impressive face, judging by Ruffnut's high-pitched laughter in the background.

"Woah, Woah! Go easy, champ," she said in between giggles, patting your back, as promised.

“What is _in_ this?" you gasped out, maybe a little too loudly. A few other patrons cast looks in your way, laughing along.

"Dunno... bit of everything, I guess?" Ruffnut pondered, scratching her chin.

"Tastes like something I'd use to clean the toilet."

She gave out a loud snort, slapping the bar enthusiastically. You were starting to think you were either very funny or that Ruffnut just appreciated the simple things about life. And honestly, maybe it was a bit of both.

And so the night went on, as you talked about everything and nothing in particular -mostly the latter, judging by how much you were drinking. The girl had something about her that made you feel so comfortable, like if you had been speaking to an old friend all this time. As she told you about her adventures causing mayhem in the city -turned out she and her twin were known for this- you found out that nothing was too scandalous for Ruffnut. Whenever you thought you were about to reveal something embarrassing or rotten about you, she would just wave you off and reassure you: “eh, we've all been there”.

Eret kept sending more drinks your way -lighter ones this time, he guaranteed- and you kept listening to her as if in trance.

You couldn't help but notice: she was really beautiful. The way her long collection of braids framed her sharp face and her blue eyes gleamed with mischief, sometimes made you forget to continue the conversation. At one moment, the two of you had decided to watch an impressive drum solo that was being played, making you spin around in your stool to face the stage and provide the perfect opportunity for Ruffnut to slither her slender fingers behind you and rest them on your shoulders.

“Sick lyrics, huh?” she chirped, despite there being no one singing at the moment.

"Yeah..." you knew you were beaming like an idiot but didn't care one bit.

As the solo ended, so did the song and the band said their goodbyes -which was highlighted by the lead singer proceeding to smash his guitar against the stage, followed by loud cheers from the audience.

“He does that every time,” Ruffnut told you. After that, the lights lowered even more and some more mainstream classics started to play in the background. That made a large number of the people occupying the tables get up and man the dance floor.

“Ooh, that's my sooong!” she drawled on, eagerly.

"Do you want to-" before you could finish the sentence, you were already being dragged to the arm through the moving bodies and into the middle of the action. You felt the world swing around almost as in sync with the music, before Ruffnut's face filled your vision, steadying you with her hands. She liked to put her hands on other people's personal space. You didn't mind that.

“Hey sugar,” grinning like a Cheshire cat, she looked at you up and down, quirking her brows, “You okay there?”

“Yeah, yeah... Just had a bit too much to drink, I think.”

You swiped a trail of sweat away from your forehead. Your head was running at a delightfully slow pace, contrasting with the high energy environment and the electric feeling you had under Ruffnut's gaze, as she skipped to the beat. So, despite how heavy your limbs felt, you tried your best to follow the flow.

You had started to think your mind was playing tricks on you when the music went drowsy with you, but it was actually the beginning of a slow song. That was established when Ruffnut came closer and laced her arms around your neck with a very particular look in her eyes. A little throw out of balance, you both twirled in place, hitting a couple of patrons before she steadied your legs for you.

“Come here often?” she purred. You swallowed a large amount of air, thinking of a response. Sooner than you could give any, however, a low, growl of a voice, made her you break your gaze.

“Hey, I know you!”

Completely still in the middle of the dancing crowd, there stood the same man Ruffnut had refused a seat when you entered the bar long ago, looking much angrier than before and, somehow, bigger. Still, she glowered at him, holding her head high, even though he was several heads taller than her.

“I thought I'd recognized you...” he grunted, his face so fiercely twisted in a scowl that it barely moved as he talked. “You said I looked like a gronckle's ass last week!”

“Awn, did I hurt your feelings, pal?” Ruffnut mocked, “Well, I got company tonight, so we'll leave the therapy session for later, okay?”

Shaking her head, she started to face away from him, until a large hand landed on her shoulders and yanked her back. The people around seemed to take notice of what was going on and as the tension grew thicker, an audience was being formed.

“Now, listen here,” the brute said, “I think you need to learn some respect.”

“Oh yeah? I think you need to learn how to treat a lady!” Ruffnut spat, both figuratively and literally, making her antagonizer run a hand through his enraged mug in disgust.

“You're not a lady,” he snarled.

“That's right,” the skinny girl took a step back, making you ponder what an odd one-liner to finish that was -before she threw her fist forth into his chin in a potent left hook. You shared a collective gasp with the other bystanders, all eyes following the staggering man with the bruised chin. At this moment, the music moved on to a raucous, more fitting heavy metal hit.

With a thundering battle cries, they both went down, yelling obscenities at each other and looking to do the most damage, not only to the opponent but to the whole bar – for as soon as one table was knocked down in the clash and expensive drinks were spilled, others started to join in on the brawling. In less than a minute, the bar was turned into a war zone: chairs went flying, bottles were smashed and punches were thrown.

You felt like a witness to the beginning of an apocalypse, standing with your mouth agape on the dance floor, listening to a pair of friends placing a bet and watching everything else go in slow motion. Somehow, stay put in the same place without moving too much was the key to not partaking in all the chaos. Or so you had thought, up to the moment when one blacked out body collapsed too close for comfort and brought you down with him, making you yelp -more in shock than in pain, honestly.

Ruffnut -who had tackled the brick wall of a man and was currently using of his own fists to turn his face into what kind of looked like a big lump of chewing gum- noticed your cries and shifted her eyes to you, offering the perfect window for her adversary to switch positions.

You saw the surprise in her eyes as it happened, finally waking up to the situation at hand. Quickly scanning the small space of dust and broken glass you were currently sprawled on, you tried to think of something. However, through its current hazy state of half intoxication, all your brain could think of was food, you realized, looking at an especially fat hamburger laying on the ground.

Then, as if a light bulb had suddenly lit up above you, one very improvisational thought came to mind. Wobbling on your feet, you grabbed the meal in hands and sneaked in between fights, seeking not to come in contact with any more skirmishes than necessary.

Ruffnut, now laying on her back and with a much larger weight on top her, was preparing her face to receive a blow that the visibly disoriented burly man was struggling to aim for the past few seconds. She had clearly done a number on him, leaving him banged up and breathing loudly through his mouth. His face -a collection of blacks and blues- was scrunched up in deep concentration.

As he gave himself that final swing for impulse, he was very startled to see you swoop in and shove an entire hamburger down his throat, in what you drunken mind thought was a master plan of action. As he coughed violently, you used all your strength to push him into his side and out of your date.

Wheezing as she stood up, Ruffnut gave you a wild look, smiling like a champ.

"Enough!"

All too soon, the music stopped altogether and the lights were turned on, illuminating the enormous mess that took the entire bar. Like in a cartoon, all scuffling parties froze in place, in the most humorous of positions, except for the one man spitting lettuce and tomatoes on the floor by your feet.

"That's it!" a very red looking Eret came about to the middle of the bar, looking daggers in every general direction. "Everyone out! We're closed!"

People started to leave in groups, mumbling to each other in disappointment, but no one seemed to have it in themselves to contradict him. The cold streets outside were already being flooded with the tipsy patrons -most of them carrying other patrons who were unconscious- scattering around through the city.

You stumbled through the doorway after three attempts of doing at the same time as Ruffnut, who had her arm intertwined with yours. No one could tell who was supporting who at the moment.

"Well, that was something!" she sighed, looking very content with the end of the night. "A hamburger? Gotta give it to you, that was some quick thinking..."

Beaming weakly, you gave her a thumbs up, then promptly kneeled down and puked all over the sidewalk.

"Oh crap!" Ruffnut raised her arms in alarm. A little out of touch, she started to wipe away the cold sweat from your brows, very awkwardly so, but visibly trying her best. "Damn, I should have let you drink so much, huh?"

"It's okay," you said, unconvincingly, "my mouth just tastes like a troll's foot."

She didn't laugh, instead sat on the ground next to you, pursing her lips in deep thought. You gave her a sideways glance at the uncharacteristic behavior: "At least it was fun, right?"

"Yeah, I love a good bar fight..." she nodded, "but look at you now? I should've just apologized to that dude..."

"Sorry, I guess I lose myself in the moment," she confessed, refusing to look anywhere else than the graffiti on the wall.

Thinking back to the smug, snarky -and kind of vicious- young woman from the beginning of the night, you felt strange seeing her open up in such a way for the first time. But you also felt warm and special, like you had to say something.

"Hey," you were having none of that. Poking her in the shoulder, in demanded her attention. "does Ruffnut apologize?"

She studied you with something unreadable in her eyes until her face lit up and she gave you the widest, most crooked grin you had ever seen.

"Not just to anyone, you know..." Ruffnut finally replied.

"That's right," you winked.

Giggling, she put one arm around you, not in a modest way. You took the invitation to rest your head on her shoulder and watch paint dry with her. You stayed like this for an amount of time you couldn't be bothered to count, doing nothing except hearing her breathing and smelling her hair. It smelled like coconut and sardines.

"So, um..." she started, who knows when. "...your breath kinda stinks."

"Hey!"

You put one hand over your lips and nose, then blew.

"Ugh," you said, cringing, "it's true."

"I got a bottle of water in my car, I think," she offered, laughing at your reaction, "or, if you're up to it..."

"Or...?"

She thought for a moment before speaking: "We could go back to my place, pretend it's a nightclub, listen to some music" she was still looking at the wall. Outside she looked like the image of cool itself: leaning against the wall, one arm on her knee. But in her voice, you could hear a faint hint of... well, what you were thinking right now.

 

"I guess I owe it to you since I started all that mess."

"Sure," you said, too quickly.

She stood up and pulled you to your feet, leading you through the twists and turns of some very dubious alleyways with only a few people in them, most of whom you recognized from the bar. You didn't really mind the way they followed you with their eyes though -judging by how easily Ruffnut had taken on that man before.

A few minutes later, you came across a bright green car parked under the blinking light of a lamppost. To you, it was a wonder how it had stayed in there all this time, judging on where you were.

She hoped in, opening the door for you from the inside. You quickly settled in and closed it, enjoying the temperature compared to the chilly outside. Ruffnut motioned to the glove compartment, while she turned on the engine. There you found a plastic bottle with water in it -you emptied it in less than a minute.

She pulled the car back abruptly, hitting a trash can with the back of the car as she left, to which she barely spared a glance. You reached back for the seatbelt, but find out instead a useless hole on as if something had been ripped off from it for whatever reason. That left you to hold for your dear life to the edge of the seat, while she sped off into the streets.

Twenty minutes later, you arrived at your destination, one large trailer park not far away from downtown. Ruffnut's home was the closest to the exit.

"Come on in," she invited, opening the door. As you entered, a faint smell of burning invaded your senses, although you couldn't identify where it came from -the only source of light in the room came from the television. On the couch in front of it, one guy was snoring loudly. "That's Tuff."

"Sup," he mumbled, still in his sleep.

You followed Ruffnut into her bedroom, hopelessly stepping on the many clothes, CDs and unidentified clutter scattered across the floor. She turned on one small lamp on the corner, then hunched over one tall shelf full of old vinyl discs. You sat down on the bed, watching everything with interest.

"Careful where you sit, I think I let Barf out somewhere."

"Barf?" you echoed, looking around in confusion. Chills ran down your back when as soon as you dared to ask, something cold and long started to wrap itself around your leg. It went up your body in a painfully slow pace, all the while you stood wide-eyed and very still.

"Oh, it's my lil buddy. He likes to hides under the bed," Ruffnut seemed to have found a suitable soundtrack for the occasion. She put on something you barely recognized but thought was cool anyway. She swaggered her way over, sitting -or rather jumping- opposite of you. "You look nice together," she quipped.

It's was then you noticed the small head poking out of the collar of your shirt. Craning your neck to look at it, the snake did the same, its tiny, beady eyes studying you carefully.

"What should I do?" you mouthed as the reptile waved its slim tongue at you.

"Hold on," Ruffnut laughed, scooting closer. She offered her hand for Barf and the pet immediately slunk along her arm.

Once again with her face very close to yours, you plainly stared as she put the snake on the ground -and as this one cleverly slithered out of the room. When you turned back to the blond girl sitting in front of you, she had her eyes locked in you.

"Hey," she said, "I think I was interrupted before... come here often?"

"Can't say that I do," you went along, "but aside from the snakes, it's pretty nice."

"Asshole," Ruffnut stuck her tongue out, jokingly.

"I could get used to it. The music is good. The company is great," you pointed out, running one hand through her pale hair.

"So I've heard," she leaned into your touch, eyeing you with an intense look in her eyes. "Can I kiss you?"

You kissed her first. She seemed surprised -something made you very proud of yourself- before hooking her arms around your back the same way she had back in the bar, except this time you could feel her chest rising against yours. Her lips were chapped and expert and she took her time devouring yours. Despite making the first move, you were completely subject to her actions, you realized, as she pushed you back against the bed. For all you cared, she just had to keep kissing you.

And so, throughout the night, all you could think of was each other's embrace and enjoy the warm ending of one wild night.

 

* * *

 

Your eyes adjusted to the bright light of the midday sun coming in through the blinds. Shifting against the covers you hid your face from the waking world. One blond head lied across your chest, from which a small pool of drool had been formed and soaked the mattress.

"Tomorrow..." Ruffnut mumbled, despite the fact that tomorrow was today.

"Yeah..." you agreed, falling back to sleep. You would deal with it tomorrow.

 

 


End file.
